That Passage in 1 John Where Jesus Tells Funny Stories About Sheep

The Journal Gazette in Indiana has run another article promoting the Jesus Seminar. This time we learn that Jesus "tells funny stories about sheep", that 1 John is part of John's gospel, and that it's logically contradictory for a book to be both God's word and historically accurate. The author, Emma Downs, tells us that:

"To many people, the Jesus Christ portrayed in the Bible seems filled with contradictions."

This is especially true of people who have never read the parts of the Bible they're criticizing. It's also true of scholars who hate what the Bible teaches and are looking for reasons to criticize it, even when they have to involve themselves in a lot of bad reasoning in order to get to their desired conclusion.